Paid Maternity Leave

Wouldn't that be great? I saved up my earned time (sick, holiday, vacation time all mixed in one) by working weekends and holidays for my entire pregnancy so I could spend as much time as possible with my baby. I worked right up until my due date, then sat at home for over a week until my baby decided to come. I'm pretty sure that I remember that my son's father only took one additional day, including the two he already got a week, so three days total. I was able to be on maternity leave for 7 weeks. I also tried saving up money so that I could stay longer, but that was used (probably) for drugs. Still a little angry about that. My point is that I was lucky. I have a good job with a good (large) company and I was able to work hard throughout my pregnancy to be able to spend some time with my baby before I was completely broke. Not every parent can do that. We need to change this policy so that our country is more in line with other countries that do provide paid maternity leave.

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Divorce Sucks

I wrote this email to a fellow who is currently going through a divorce. I read his story through a listserve email.

It gets better. Seriously. Even though you probably don't believe me, it really does.

I've been through a divorce and although it was a different situation, as situations usually are, it was still one of the worse things that has happened to me. Ever. It was Horrible. My ex had been using drugs and neglected my son while I was at work and I found this all out from a social worker who came to my house to tell me it was the ex or my son. I made the only decision that I felt was an option, my son. 

I grieved for my lost husband. I felt as if the person I loved had died, or, more likely, that person never existed to begin with. People told me it got better. They told me that I would love again, but I did not believe them.

But it does and you do. It'll get better for you. You will fall in love again and although it won't be the same kind of love, who knows, maybe it will be better. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know it is hard. I know that it fucking sucks. I hope that my email, along with all the others you will receive,  helps a little bit. We've experienced them, too, and lived to tell about it.

Keep your head up,

Raine

Reasons My Six Year Old Son Is Crying

• I told him to turn off the video games after I let him play for an extra 30 minutes.
• I told him that I made him a delicious dinner.
• I said no to Dunkin Donuts.
• I said no to Bagel World.
• I said no to McDonald's.
• I told him that he had to go to school.
• I told him that I can not stay home from work.
• I told him to go outside and get "some damn vitamin D!"
• I told him to play with his toys.
• I told him to brush his teeth.
• I used the hand dryer.

Totally Awkward Tuesday: Lyrics

I just happen to remember to tell you this story on a Tuesday, so Totally Awkward Tuesday it is! (Remember Tova?)

When I was a kid I loved Jesus Christ Superstar and anything Andrew Lloyd Webber. Okay, I still do. I love my "Sweeney Todd" Pandora station. They play a ton of JCS and other great showtunes. Anyways, I had a tape of the Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber. It had such greats as Memory, Don't Cry For Me, Argentina, All I Ask of You, and I Don't Know How to Love Him from the famed Jesus Christ Superstar. Great songs. I listened to them all the time. I especially liked listening to them while I washed the dishes.

One night I was washing the dishes and singing my heart out when I Don't Know How to Love Him came on. I started singing my heart out. My dad came in just as I was uttering the lyrics:

He's a man. He's just a man. 

And I've had so many men before, 
In very many ways, 
He's just one more.

Yup. Great for a young teenager to be singing in front of her dad. He exclaimed "I hope not!" And I was embarrassed. It was truly awkward. Thanks Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Boston: One Week Later

The past week have been very intense. I am so glad it is over and they caught the guy - especially before he hurt more people. As you probably know, the city was on lockdown Friday. Lockdown. The. Whole. City. I've never seen anything like it. At first, even though we were miles and miles away from the shelter-in-place section, I was still terrified to leave our house. Eventually we did leave and got lunch. The hospital that I work for sent out a message to my phone saying "Code Disaster." For reals. What is scarier than a disaster??

I am on the HAZMAT team here at the hospital. Basically, if there is a dirty bomb or something and there are a bunch of people who need to be decontaminated before they go into the hospital, then we go in, set up a tent and help people wash themselves (or we wash them for the non-ambulatory patients.) It is a deceptively simple task, and super important. The drills are always a good time. BUT Friday I realized that there is a real possibility that we could be called out. People's lives could be at stake. Real people and real violence can occur. It was scary and humbling. We were not called out Friday, there was no need, but we did get a phone message that said "The HAZMAT team has not be activated." I swear to you the pause between the "has" and the "not" was enormous. My heart sank as I heard "has". It was scary. And the relief when I heard the "not" was enormous, too.

I feel safer today. But in a way I feel less safe than a week ago. Just over 7 days ago I felt like things happened to other people in other cities, but not here. Not Boston. But now I feel a little less naive. There is a risk and it is everywhere. This is not going to help my mild agoraphobia.

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door."  -  J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

I Stole It

I used to work for a large bookstore. This bookstore had a cafe attached to it. Every day I noticed that people sat down at the cafe and did their school work. When they were done they would just sweep everything back into their backpack. What if they had a store book in that pile? Would anyone notice?

I decided that no, people would not notice. And since I worked there I knew the only books that had security tags on them were books on computers or those with CDs. So I went over to the health section and found a book on yoga. I was going to try it out. I went back to the cafe, opened my backpack, took all my school work out, sat and did some homework, then, when I was ready, I swept all of the books into my backpack and left. Mission Accomplished.

I got home with my newly acquired book and I was excited to read it. I opened it and, basically, the first page said that you should live an honest life, which included specifically, no stealing. Damn. I had failed at yoga before I even started.

Denial

It doesn't seem real. It seemed all too real earlier when I was in the city. But now, why are people praying for Boston? People don't need to pray for Boston. Bad things don't happen in Boston. We are not New York City, or Denver, or Oklahoma City, or even Newtown. Bad things do not happen in Boston. And certainly not when I am down there. Not when I have loved ones at or near the marathon. Children do not die from bomb blasts in Boston. We are not Afghanistan or Israel. It just doesn't make any sense.