Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday

Totally awkward tuesday is back! I have seriously been waiting all week so share this goodie with you!! I cant believe I didnt think of it the first time.

It was halloween, my upstairs neighbor was having a party and invited me. I could not say no. So, I grabbed my baby monitor (I know how to party) and headed upstairs.

When I got there I noticed she had cleaned. Alot. I made a comment that it was so clear that we could dance in one of the rooms. She was like "Ya..." So, the first guy shows up and we're just talking. She turns all of the lights down and lights candles. Kinda strange, but I figure that is how she rolls.

So she gets a phone call. She says into the phone "Who are you? I dont know who you are." Then continues to give this person directions to her house. I say to the fella next to me that that has never happened to me, someone I dont know calling me asking for directions. He says "Are you married or something?" And, technically, I was still married, but I didnt see how that had any relevance to the conversation.

She gets off of the phone and she and this other guy start talking about who is coming. They start counting off guys and girls. I thought it was weird. I was wondering if we were in high school or something, but wasnt gonna be rude and say so.

Finally, she looks at me and says "I should probably tell you something."


"We are in a certain kind of lifestyle."

Ok. I dont know what that means.

"We are swingers."

Oh my god. Why didnt she tell me that an hour ago?!? I didnt want to be rude and uncool and just run away, but then men start showing up! They said hi to me but I can see it in their eyes: "I am gonna fuck her."


I ran away. I mumbled some nonsense about hearing the baby or dog or something and ran back down to my house.

Now, go read Tova Darling's awkwardness!


  1. Wow! I don't think I'd be able to look that neighbor in the eye EVER again!

  2. THAT is something you tell people BEFORE you invite them over to your party... LMAO...
    I'm allergic to peanuts...I'm a swinger...See? Important to know before

  3. That is so hilarious!!!! Why the hell would she not tell you before you got there! You poor thing!!

  4. wow.... why didn't i hear this the day after?? :) but that is very awkward

  5. Why would someone invite you to that type of party and not at least TELL you?? I'm appalled!!!!!!!


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