Are you throwing a baby shower? Let me give you a piece of advice: Do not play the ribbon game.
How to play: Get a roll of ribbon. Pass the roll around to all of the party goers and tell them to cut off a piece of ribbon that will go around the largest part of the mother-to-be's belly. The person who gets the closest wins some gay prize.
I am sure that you see where this is going.
They played this game at my baby shower. They passed the roll around and the ribbon ran out before it left the first table. These people thought my belly was so large that they used all of the ribbon. My belly was large, but, shit.
So, the people who actually got some ribbon started trying to measure it around me. The ribbon was so big, some almost went around twice! Twice! This made me feel real shitty. Like I wasn't feeling like a whale to begin with. Thanks family and friends for making my baby shower totally awkward.
Need more awkwardness for your Tuesday fill? Visit our hostess, Tova Darling, she is totally awkward! :D