Friday, July 24, 2009

Dear Girl From High School

Dear Girl From High School,

I accepted your friend request on facebook because I was mildly interested in what you have been up to. You found out you were pregnant and I was very excited for you. I really didn't need to see all of those pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom mirror though.

After you had the baby is what I really want to talk to you about.

I am sure that your baby-daddy is a piece of scum. (Actually I remember disliking him in high school.) But, you really don't need to air your drama on your status updates every. single. day. Seriously. There is really no need to go on. and on. and on. and on about how he is nothing and you are so strong and he is missing out and you rock and your baby doesn't need him.

The other day I did the math. You must have gotten pregnant the same month you started dating this fella. Now, I'm not trying to judge anyone, but, maybe you shouldn't be completely shocked when the relationship doesn't work out. Just saying.

I know that it is difficult to go to court and fight for custody. I have totally been there. But, I don't completely understand why you are so angry about baby-daddy wanting three months a year with her. Do you realize that that is only 25% of her life? That leaves you with 75%. And I believe you said "Over my dead body." A bit dramatic, no? I wish my ex wanted anything to do with our son.

Finally, there is no need to go on. and on. and on. and on about your new beau. Yes, it is great that he is a doctor. And owns a home on the beach. And has a nice car. And owns a boat. Yes, it is nice that he took you sailing around the cape. I really don't need to read every detail on your status updates every day. You only broke up with baby-daddy two months ago. Isn't a bit soon to call this new beau her father?

I'm not trying to judge (really) I just don't want to read about it every. single. day.

Thanks in advance.


  1. hahaha it's like watching a car wreck. This girl makes me feel good about my life. Is there still a "Show less of (name)" on Facebook?

    Web communities are fantastic for attention seekers to have 700 friends and 700 photos. I don't think I've even met 700 people my whole adult life. I need to get out more. Great for stalkers too.

    This stuff is the same reason why I have no desire to get into Twitter. Worse yet are people from high school who I have no recollection of and wants to be my Facebook friend. Makes me feel like a bitch for not remembering who they are. I guess I am a bitch because I still don't care who they are or what they do.

  2. lol! i so know people like this on facebook!

  3. Oh, this is good. And welcome to the beauty of "unfriending" on FB.

  4. I am a fan of Block that Bitch (or deleting, as it were)
    Great read!

  5. Wow, and I thought I was a drama queen on FB ;)


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