Friday, July 31, 2009

How To Get A Restraining Order

  1. Go to district court.

  2. Ask clerk for RO.

  3. Insist that you want to get the RO there and not in family court.

  4. Leave after being told to wait an hour then get a temp RO at the police station.*

  5. Go home; feel defeated; give up.

  6. Talk to friend, who insists you go the next day.

  7. Go to the district court.

  8. Ask same clerk for RO.

  9. After searching entire court house, tell clerk that you cannot find the woman's advocate person.

  10. Explain that you looked everywhere.

  11. Insist that you want to get the RO there and not in family court.

  12. Explain that that is where your lawyer told you to go.

  13. Fill out paperwork after winning the argument.

  14. Give paperwork to clerk, go into court room.

  15. Sit. Sit. Sit.

  16. Listen to some assault case for an hour.

  17. Go up to the bench when called.

  18. Explain to judge why you need a RO.

  19. Explain that you are fearful despite the fact that he has never been violent.

  20. Explain that he is unpredictable and a drug addict.

  21. Correct him when the judge jokes that he must be coming to see his son, that is why he is showing up unexpectedly at your house.

  22. Just before you start crying, take signed paperwork from the judge.

  23. Go home, feel harrassed.

  24. Go back 14 days later.

  25. After sitting in court for two hours, find out that he wasn't served so you'll have to come back.

  26. One week later, go to police because he violated RO.

  27. Have the police serve him the RO over the phone.

  28. Return to court in one week.

  29. Have court tell you that he wasn't served.

  30. Go to same clerk and explain that the police served him a week ago.

  31. Go to police station after the clerk says that the police do not know what you are talking about.

  32. Speak to same police officer that the clerk did, listen to her explain that she told the clerk that he was served.

  33. Go back to clerk with paperwork from police.

  34. Go back to court.

  35. Get one year RO.

  36. Write a letter to the chief justice explaining the difficulty you had in getting RO.

  37. Read reponse from chief justice basically calling you a liar.
  38. Anxiously wait one year until you have to go back to get it renewed.

*Police ROs are only good until court opens the next day at which time you have to return to the court to get a two week one.


  1. Ugh... I got a headache just reading this! So sorry :-(

  2. Holy crap. I admire your commitment though!

  3. Raine, I could identify with so much of this. I admire you for blogging about it and encourage you to keep doing whatever you need to do to process. You are not alone!

  4. wow, i'm so sorry you had to go through all that. there's some real geniuses out there makin up these systems and procedures.

  5. This is why so many women get killed by their abusers. The system sucks. xoxo

  6. Its true, I understand now why women don't get them.


Whatcha think?