Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Don't Have A Business, Per Se

Remember my swinger neighbor? Well, when I first moved in she had me fooled. She talked about her "businesses" and "classes" and such. I thought she was a business woman.

Come to find out, she was just a good exaggerator. An unemployed exaggerator.

But before the revelation, she asked me if I wanted to go to this Main Streets reception. Main Streets is like our Chamber of Commerce. It is the local business association. I told her that it didn't sound like an event for babies, but she insisted that it would be fine. There would be food and wine so we should go with her.

I show up with my infant wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Everyone else is dressed up. She drags me around introducing me to people and of course they are asking me what my business is.

Err... The largest private employer in the Commonwealth. No, it is not in Salem.

I felt like a complete fool. People were being nice to us, but I could see it in their eyes: "Why are they here?"

Then I learned the truth! Swinger-Neighbor is talking to this man. They are talking about how they map out these kind of events for the free food! Seriously. They know when all the hardware stores summer barbecues are. All the grand openings. All the Christmas parties. They literally travel all over for the free food. Seems like way too much work to me.

So, I felt awkward and she got some free egg rolls. Perfect.

For more awkwardness head on over to Tova Darling's blog.


  1. What a freak! I'm all for a good free buffet, if it's at an event you're already interested in attending. In fact, sometimes the promise of free food can push me over the "undecided" edge towards getting out of the house to go to something that I was thinking about attending. But dragging your poor neighbor along just for the free food when it's clearly not an event for either of you? What a freak...

  2. Oh my word! Your neighbor is totally crazy! A swinging free-loader! At least she's good material for TATs!


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