Wednesday, January 13, 2010

2005 Raine

Here is my chosen writing assignment from Mama Kat:

2.) If you could have given yourself a snapshot five years ago of what your life is like now, what would the picture be of and how do you think you would have felt about it?

First, I think we should meet 2005 Raine. In January 2005 Raine had just moved from Denver back into her parent's house in Maine. She left behind a husband whose new bff was crystal meth and took along a little drinking problem. She thought everyday would be her last. She was certain that the infinite sadness would kill her. She felt like a miserable failure.

You wouldn't have liked her.

Zipping forward to today, I take a snapshot of my life and bring it back to her. She takes one look at it and says "What the fuck?? How the hell did this happen??"

2005 Raine sees a single mother living with her toddler and dog in Salem, MA. She sees a wonderful mother and perfect child. She sees her working at a prestigious hospital, working toward a cure for a fatal disease. She doesn't necessarily see a happy woman, but this woman she is looking at is no drunk.

"How did this happen?" she repeats.

I tell her that the next five years will be by far the most difficult in her life. I tell her that during those five years she will get back together with her husband, have a child, get a divorce, a restraining order, and file for bankruptcy.

I tell her that she survives it.

2005 Raine does not understand. She asks how it is humanly possible to survive all of that in five short years. She is scared.

But then she looks again at the snapshot. She sees that I had survived it all. She is proud of me. She is proud of herself.

The only thing I would ask of 2005 Raine is to remember that this too shall pass. I ask her to remember that she will survive. I tell her that in five years she will be better off. She will have a good life. Hopefully she listens.


  1. Way to be! Good for you! I've survived a lot, too, and being a survivor is WAY better than playing the victim!

  2. Wow! Had a tearyeyed moment reading this! Great message! and congratulations on finding your inner strength and struggling on.

  3. Raine! This is a great post! I love the hope and pride that you emote to your past self! You ARE a wonderful mother! An amazing woman who has survived (and flourished!) in the face of many challenges! I am proud to know you!

  4. I bet 2005 Raine is in awe of the strength of the now are one strong chica;)

  5. WOW you are a really strong women. I hope I can be like you one day!

  6. I think those are the wisest words. This too shall pass. Every thing. Every good. And every bad. Every thing shall pass.

    Always love your posts Raine!

  7. I'm pretty fond of Raine: version 2010.

  8. This is, without a doubt, the best blog post I've read in a very long time! Thank you!


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