Wednesday, February 24, 2010

To Name or Not To Name, That is the Question

This week's chosen topic is actually something that I think about a lot:

2.) Brea from Tomika’s Treasure Trove wants your advice: Quick question. I am new to the blogging world, having clocked up less than 2 weeks worth of posts, and I have just had an ‘Anonymous’ commenter slam me for blogging about my daughter, mentioning her by name, posting photos and up-to-date stories about her. I have not mentioned anywhere in my blog where we live, Country OR State, or what school she goes to. I have also seen, on several other blogs, that other parents do the same thing as me. Some even mention where they live. I was wondering, as a fellow blogger who posts about your family, what are your thoughts on the subject?

In case you are new to the game, I am Raine and my son is Ryder.  I am quite comfortable telling you this.  His name is actually on my banner.  I also post pictures of the two of us.  And, if you observant at all enough, you know where I live, city and state.

Okay, so why do I divulge so much information?  First and foremost I am quite open and honest.  I know confessionals are suppose to be anonymous (right?  I've never actually been in one) but, please, the priest totally knows who you are.  I think I have actually made it more difficult to find my blog if you know me than if you don't.

So that sorta explains why I put my name out there, but the real question is Ryder's name.  First of all, his last name is different then mine, so good luck figuring that out.  But here is my theory/reasoning/what-have-you.  The main reason people sheild their children is so freaks don't come and snatch them up, right?  Don't want some creepy guy finding you.  Well, if I thought that that way, then I wouldn't say Ryder's name anywhere outside my house, right?  What about at a grocery store?  Not only do they see you both, know your names, knows round-abouts where you live, possibly actually where you live, because this freak could follow you to your car and follow you home.  Right?  I won't live in fear like that.

Reasoning number two:  if there is some creep looking to snatch little kids, I highly doubt that he is doing research on the internet.  He (btw, I know that it can be a "she" but we're gonna stick with "he") probably will just cruise the local parks and/or schools.  I would think that that would be much more efficient.

I don't let my kid wear a name tag in public, though.  That is just asking for trouble.

And, quite honestly, I really like his name.  If I am going to post about him hundreds of times, I'm using it.

Lastly, why do I tell you where I live?  Well, I don't exactly give you my address but I feel like living in Salem is such a large part of my life.  Salem has so much character and is filled with so many characters, that I couldn't write about my life without talking about it.  What would I write about in October?  I'd have to take the month off!  And aren't you guys dying to hear all the effing ferris wheel updates?  Maybe if I lived on the other side of the harbor I wouldn't tell you, but I don't.

And Salem is fucking big.  There are a lot of people here.

In conclusion, Brea, I think it is okay to post whatever you feel comfortable with.  Some people post no identifying things and some people maybe share too much.  I think it is your own personal choice.  I also truly believe that this could be the last day for any one of us.  Why live in fear?

Oh, one more thing:  Fuck anonymous commenters.  If you are going to tell me I'm a shitty person or something, don't hide behind anonymous, cowards.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. Love it...especially the last statement;)perfect!

  2. Hi Raine,

    Firstly, I appreciate the time you have taken to write about my dilemma.

    Secondly - "Oh, one more thing: Fuck anonymous commenters. If you are going to tell me I'm a shitty person or something, don't hide behind anonymous, cowards." = Classic! I said the same thing. (In a shitty, overly defensive kinda way, but still...)

    Thanks for putting it into perspective for me!

  3. Stopping by from Mama Kat's…

    Very well put. I agree that someone should not hide behind an anonymous comment and judge others. If they can't be willing to face up to their words, don't say it anonymously.

    Thanks for sharing,

  4. I'm with you: fuck anonymous commentors! I get some from time to time, and, honestly, if you are too chicken shit to use your name--or even a pseudonym--then I really don't give two fucks about their comment/opinion.

    As for MY anonymity...this stems more from me worrying about potential employers looking up my name on the internet and finding me telling yet another story about where I pooped, how much, and what the consistency was. And other such beautiful nuggets. That's why I've ducked slightly more anonymous than I was before.

  5. This is so much better than my poo on them statement LOL Now you see why I decided to post about prompt #1 ;) Thanks for visiting me & I'm glad I came over to visit you. You pretty much....rock :D Very well said...and I love the anonymous part & agree 1000%

  6. I totally agree with you. If you are going to be a jerk at least have enough balls to do it out in the open and what not!

  7. I also agree with you. You now belong to the cyber space community and the followers you want are going to be the ones that like what you write and want to be part of your life, if only by posts. You can not stop cranky self righteous people commenting on your blog, when you do this you need to grow a thicker skin.

  8. yep, i'm with you -- do what you will and ignore the haters, especially the anonymous ones.

  9. I strongly agree. What a hideous coward. Anonymous comment should totally be disregarded.

  10. I love Ryders name too and I can completely understand what you are saying. I also hate mr and mrs anonymous!!


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