Thursday, April 22, 2010

What About When It's No One's Fault?

We love to point fingers, huh?  It is your fault.  It is his fault.  It is their fault.  But, God knows, it is NOT my fault.  What about when there is no one to blame?

I was at work and, per science protocol, the experiment didn't work.  The samples were bad.  Now, there was no way in advance for anyone to know that these samples were bad.  Shit just happens all the time sometimes.  My supervisor (for lack of a better word) said, "Just be more careful next time."  I replied "What did I do wrong this time that I should do differently next time?"  "Well, nothing."  Okay, then, I didn't do anything wrong and there is nothing that I could have done differently, therefore, I was really not to blame, right?  But who could leave it at that?  Someone has to be to blame.

There are new parking machines in the commuter lot I park at.  They basically replace an actual person who would take your money.  You punch in your space number, shove a couple of dollars, or your credit card in it and it spits out a receipt.  Sounds pretty simple, huh?  Well they do not work about 80% of the time.  I miss my train all the time due to these dumb machines.  They won't eat your dollars, or they spit out your coins or your credit card comes up with an error message.  It is annoying in the least. 

I went online and found this article talking about the problem.  Commuters blame city officials.  City officials blame commuters for not adapting to new technology.  Commuters blame other commuters for not using dollar coins (which, supposedly, always work?)  People are blaming the constituents who don't know who they are voting for in November.

Maybe the machines just don't work.  Maybe there is no one to blame.

Then there is something that I, myself, am guilty of.  "It is my fault.  I should have known."  Like I'm supposed to be some all-knowing deity or something.  My situation is my fault because I should have known the ex would be a shitty father and get addicted to oxys.  No one ever implied that it was my fault.  I just blamed myself.  I suppose in this case there is someone to blame, but it was misplaced.

How about when the weatherman calls for 2" of snow and we actually get six?  We blame our boss for not letting us out of work early enough to beat the traffic.  We blame other cars for being overcautious on the roads.  We blame the city for not plowing.  The meteorologist for incorrectly forecasting.  In reality, we live in New England.  The weather is somewhat unpredictable.  Really there is no one to blame. 

How do we release our angers and frustrations without a scapegoat?  We need to blame someone.  If there is no one to blame, no one takes responsibility, and the event could, possibly, happen again.

6 comments:

  1. I always blame myself too. I need to work on that!

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  2. I've said it before and I'll say it again, sometimes shit happens. You either deal with it and move on or you act like your boss did and deflect. Whatever works I guess? Oh by the way, turns out I do have lactose intolerance, but that's my fault that my small intestine does not produce enough of the enzyme lactase. :P

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  3. It seems like we have all become a society that needs to assign blame, and labels. Don't get me started on labels!

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  4. We're having that problem here at home... Mom keeps on using her cancer to get out of everything.... (speeding tickets, cleaning, cooking, pretty much everything that isn't the computer) and w/e you know, that's her choice; As long as she's not hurting anyone. But the issue is that at the end of the day everyone around her feels like a terrible person for having asked her to lift a finger. She told me the other day that dying comes before cleaning on her priorities. And didn't I instantly feel like the biggest douche on the planet. Perhaps, this is one of those times where the cancer blame shouldn't be put anywhere?

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Whatcha think?