Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Few of My Favorite Things

If you are my friend on facebook, then you know that I like to post links to cool stuff.  If you are not my friend, why aren't you?  Don't you want to click on my awesome links?  Well here are some of my favorites.
  • Jewels blogged about this a couple days ago.  Free hugs make me wicked happy.
  • This is cool.  It makes awesome peaceful sounds if you make enough circles.
  • This guy is awesome.  I really want to read his book, but after hearing him read from it, it probably won't be the same.

Let me know what you liked!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

What He Doesn't Know

He reminds me so much of his father it is crazy.  He looks just like him.  He has the same facial expressions, even the small things like how his legs look with his socks, reminds me of him.

It reminds me of how unbelievable it is that he doesn't know him.  He doesn't even know what his voice sounds like.  He doesn't know that he loves video games just like he did/does.

He doesn't know that he goes to school and rides the bus.  He doesn't know that he prefers men over women.  He doesn't know that, just like him, he makes friends with ease.

It is hard to comprehend that Ryder is a whole person that he doesn't know.

I wonder if he knows what he is missing.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How Far to Heaven?

"How far to heaven? Just open your eyes and look. You are in heaven" -Shankar

We were on top of Pike's Peak in Colorado and it was probably the most beautiful place I've ever been.  It was amazing.  We were in the clouds and I felt like we were in heaven.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sad and Confused

Some rules I really believe in.  Some laws are in place for reasons, good reasons.  Some rules and laws I just disregard.  Some laws are dumb.  I think where my real issue lies is when other people do not pick and choose the same as I do.

When we were in Denver I got really annoyed with the ride operators at the zoo.  When I worked there, we were super strict.  Keep your shit inside the train and no playing on the carousel.  I believed that I didn't want anyone to get hurt, but I think I just didn't want to get in trouble.  My boss was strict and so were we.  Now, though, there really isn't a boss - and they are happy.  Goddamn bowls full of sugar these girls were.  So nice.  So sweet.  Totally pissed me off.  They didn't yell to keep your shit inside the train.  They encouraged you to toot along with it.  They weren't the carousel police.  They annoyed me.

Driving.  Of course normal things piss me off (not stopping at stop signs, running red lights, etc.) but smaller things do too.  I hate it when someone stops as if they have a stop sign, but don't.  Or when someone goes, but it is my turn.  That always causes me to honk my horn, because I still try to go, to make a point, I guess?  People get so angry when I honk.  Way more angry than I was when I honked.  I don't know if it is the horn, if it is the out of state tags, if they think they were not in the wrong, but every time they yell at me and are just very very angry.

A couple weeks ago my mom was following me downtown.  A big ol' truck (I hate them anyways) did not like that my mom was stopping for pedestrians, so passed her - on the right.  Then passed me on the right and cut me off to then take a left.  Follow that?  So I honked and then passed them, as they waited to take their left.  The woman in the passenger seat yelled "Go back to Maine, you fucking hick."  I just couldn't believe how angry she was.  She was way angrier than I was, and I didn't do anything wrong.  Sometimes I think that maybe I am being unreasonable or too sensitive, but this time I literally did nothing but honk at these people because they did something completely wrong and dangerous.

I can't believe how angry some people get, and I can get fucking angry.

Having Maine plates does bother me sometimes, as does being white in a Hispanic neighborhood.  I feel like people are looking at me wondering why I am here.  Sometimes I feel like yelling "I LIVE HERE TOO!"

I ought to explain the wide rift there exists between residents and tourists in Salem.  I suppose any touristy town like Plymouth and Aspen would have a similar problem.  Some people actually wear t-shirts that say "I live here."

There is this beggar in a wheel chair that likes to sit in the road.  In.The.Road.  I think it is easier for him to beg to drivers that way.  He always asks me for money when I walk by and when I don't give him money, he mumbles something in Spanish.  I know it is something about me.  I feel like saying "I live here too.  I am poor too."

There was this Jamaican man that I used to work with.  "Why don't you own a house?" he asked one day.

"Why don't you own a house?"  I replied.

"Because I don't have any money."

"Well, I don't have any money either."

"But you are a white woman, you can get money."

"From where?"

"From the bank."

"I can only get money from a bank if I go in there with a gun."

"No, you are white, so they will give you money."  I couldn't convince him that it didn't exactly work that way.  The bank is way more concerned with my shitty credit than the color of my skin or my citizenship.

Anyways, I am not sure where I was going with all this.  I seem to have lost my way.  I guess what I have meant to convey is that I often feel misunderstood.  I obey rules, but it's because I don't want trouble.  I honk, but not to anger you.  I am white, but I am not privileged.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Work Party Rant

Organizing anything with other people is always a nightmare.  Everyone needs to agree and everyone never agrees.  Everyone wants to do all this stuff yet no one wants to do it.

I am always nominated to choose the farewell gift at work.  Because I'm the only one who knows how to use Google?  Then, I pick something and everyone hates it.  For example, my friend was leaving and going to grad school.  I googled "grad school gift" and came up with this gift basket with things like flash drives and such that you need at grad school.  "You are NOT serious??" was the answer I got.

No one wants to be cheap but they don't want to spend too much money either.

I shop online and other people at work don't like paying shipping.  Well guess what - I do my shopping online.  I don't like stores, I don't like people, I don't like a tired and whiny toddler, and I don't live in the city.  So unless you want something with a witch on it, either pay shipping or go get it yourself.

Then collecting the money.  Then collecting the money!  I don't want to hold the money (because I always seem to get nominated for that too.)  Tell me how much to give whom.  Sally gets $20?  Done.  But no.  "Okay, so the gift comes to $78.32 after tax, split x ways, everyone owes $13.86."  Can't I just give $15?  Can't we just round up?  Please?

God it is such a nightmare.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Times When It Is Inappropriate To Text

There has been tons of talk about texting while you drive.  I, obviously, agree that it is dangerous (although I totally text at red lights, but then I've been known to read the paper at red lights too, but that is neither here nor there.)  There are tons of other places that you probably shouldn't be texting.  Some of these I have seen recently.

  • While you are lifeguarding.
  • While you are jaywalking.
  • While you are training a lion.
  • While you are climbing a ladder.
  • While you are holding a ladder.
  • While you are roofing.
  • While you are piloting a plane.
  • While you are reading your child a bedtime story.
  • While you are saying your vows.
  • While you are rock climbing.
  • While you are talking to your Mother-In-Law.
Have you noticed any?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Good Friends?

If I am traveling down the wrong path and you are my friend and tell me so, then I understand when you don't want to watch me fuck up. But if later I realize my fallacy and call you asking for your help, then I think a good friend should be there for you.

I think it is the same for parents. Say you tell your daughter not to go to that party but she does anyways, would you not go running to her if she called asking for your help?

I guess this sorta happened to me. When I first started dating my ex, a couple of my friends sat me down and they expressed their concerns, mainly that he did too many drugs. But truth be told, I was doing just as much as he was, if not more, so their argument made no sense to me. They stopped hanging out with me, which I understood and did not think less of them for.

I got married and they didn't as much as RSVP and that angered me. The least they could have done is said they weren't coming. But they didn't, so I wrote them off. Then I met up with one of them when I first separated from him.  She was all "We should hang out" and of course never returned any of my phone calls.  I needed friends.  I wrote them off a second time.

The latest run in with these people occurred on facebook, of course.

Raine:  iTunes is my sworn enemy

S:  oh no!

Raine:  if iTunes had a face, I would punch it

S:  k, what did it do?

Raine:  i tried installing the new iphone4 software for my ipod. it didnt work, it said i needed to update my itunes. i try to install itunes and it says quicktime wont install. so i installed quicktime separatly and it still didnt work. so ive tried a couple other things that the apple website suggested, short of uninstalling itunes, and it still hasnt worked. i just uninstalled quicktime and tried again and it still isnt working. says it cant install quicktime. any ideas?

S:  get a new ipod?

S:  no wait, an Ipad. Blow your kids college fund on the latest toy so you can be cool. 

Okay, so silly me I thought she was actually going to help me with my problem, not insult me.

But anyways, I didn't actually come here to rant.  I have just been reflecting on qualities of a good friend.  What triggered it was this:  my gf has a friend who did a lot of things that she disagreed with.  A lot of life altering decisions that she now realizes is wrong.  The friend called my gf for help.  My gf is jumping to help her, but at the same time sorta thinks, you got yourself into this mess.  I think that should all be forgotten, forget about the woulda, coulda, shouldas and focus on remedying the situation at hand. 

But then, I forgive and forget very easily and I pride myself on being nonjudgmental, so I shouldn't pass judgment on my gf and her feelings.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Far Away Friends

Did you ever have a pen pal?  I suppose most people got them through school, but I found mine through the post office.  One I still talk to one (Hi Becca!!), but the other I do not.

I was really young, 10 maybe?  And God knows it was pre-internet, so there wasn't a whole lot outside of my little Maine town that I knew about.  Having a pen pal was like having a window into a different dimension.  A dimension where everything wasn't green, people didn't wear parkas, and no one was white.  It was almost surreal.

My first pen pal was from Ghana.  I had no idea where Ghana was, so I pulled out my parent's World Atlas and flipped to Africa.  Wow, there, a whole world away, was a girl my age who knew me.  Who wrote me letters and sent pictures.  I think the letters were mainly about what our lives in our countries were like.  I was always excited to get a letter with that Air Mail sticker on it.

Until one day when I opened the letter and read it.  It was several pages long and it was basically telling me that I was going to Hell for all of my sins.  I was like 12 years old, or something.  What could I have possibly told her that would warrant eternity in Hell?  I was so angry.  My mom told me that she had probably reached some sort of coming-of-age age or some shit.  I didn't care.  I thought she was my friend, but she obviously wasn't.

I never wrote back.

I don't really remember why I thought it was a good idea to try again, but I am glad I did.  Australia, now that was a country I knew about.  They had kangaroos and koalas.  There was a girl there who was my age and liked things that I liked.  We made each other mixed tapes and I listened to mine over and over.  I felt wicked cool listening to punk bands that none of my friends knew about. 

Then of course in college we got email and more recently facebook.  I'd love to actually meet her one day.

But I have no idea what happened to my Ghanaian friend.  I wonder if she is on facebook.