Thursday, November 11, 2010

Confession #371

I am doing 2.) What are your confessions? (inspired by Usher)  You might think that this is sorta a cop-out but it is not!  I swear!

Tabatha is doing this 30 questions a day for the month.  

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

I have a few of these so I'm only gonna talk about two people.  I'll tell you about the rest another day.

When I was in high school I had three really good friends.  One went away fairly quickly and that is a story itself, but the other two were friends into college (S and M).

I went to college comparatively closer to home than either of them did.  The first thing that really started to get to me was that M would come home and not tell me until after the fact.  I kept insisting that she tell me because I'd gladly drive up.  I was always the driver when we were in high school and I maintained that roll in college.  I drove out to western New Hampshire to visit S and Boston to visit M.  I did this fairly often.  Needless to say I think they only visited me once.

We all smoked together in high school, but when we went off to college, I started smoking more (and drinking more) and they turned away from drugs and stuck with the alcohol.  So, I guessed that part of the reason they didn't visit me was because they didn't want to hang out with me and my stoner friends.

Then I met the ex.  A couple of months later my friends, S and M, staged a kind of intervention for me.  They said that they thought he was all wrong for me.  That he did too many drugs (no comments from the peanut gallery.)  I didn't understand because I did just as much as he did.  I felt it would be terribly hypocritical to say that he did too much when I was using the same amount.

I started seeing and hearing from S and M less and less.  I thought it was a combination of them disliking my boyfriend and them going clubbing looking for men, which I had no interest in doing.  I married in Denver, but had a reception back in Maine.  They were both invited (along with others) and no one RSVP'ed.  No lame excuse, no we hate you, no nothing.  I decided I hated them all.

I didn't talk to any of them for a while.  I moved back to Maine and saw S in the store.  She seemed honestly excited to see me.  We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together.  I was excited.  I called her a few times, left voicemails, but none of them were ever returned.  So I gave up.

I joined good ol' Facebook.  I asked to be friends with both girls.  They both "accepted" and because I do not friend people just to make myself feel popular, I messaged both of them saying hi, how are you, that type of thing.  Guess what?  No response.  Zero.  

It makes me sad.  I really really loved S - M a little less.  I  have spoken to other people from that time - even S's sister.  But neither of them.  I don't really know what made us drift so far.  It could've been their dislike of my ex or the drugs, but honestly I don't think so.  Perhaps they just live such different lives and have so many new people in their lives that I just don't fit into it anymore.  Or maybe they stopped liking me.  Whatever the reason, it is what it is, but if either of them emailed me today and wanted to hang out, I would drop everything.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. That is too bad, but if they don't accept you for who you are, they can't be called true friends.

  2. They don't seem like good friends. A friend would make the time to see you, call you back, email, etc.

  3. Unfortunately we cannot control how other people will be with us. But you can control your reaction to them. You seem like a genuine person and they do not. You are a better person than they deserve so don't sell yourself short. Have a happy life without them! Thanks so much for visiting my site today, I'm glad I got to discover yours, have a great day-


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