Monday, February 7, 2011

I Will Survive (the Cake version, though)

Things have been tough around here, but I got my meds upped so maybe things will get better.

I have survived a lot. I have survived lies, drugs, abuse, parenting, bankruptcy, eviction, repossession, divorce, and more court appearances any one person should have to handle. But sometimes I feel like that is enough. I don't have the strength to go any farther. I don't have the courage.

Sometimes when I watch a movie or read a book where the protagonist has or is enduring some serious shit, I don't understand why they don't kill them selves. I just watched Rachel Getting Married and it was a great flick, but if I killed my little brother and didn't feel wanted by my family, I think suicide would be a viable option.

Why do I think this? I know when this enters my mind that it is fucked up. What does it say about me? Probably nothing good.

I should put a little meter on my side bar over there keeping track of how shitty I sound. As someone reads a post it goes up and down.

Okay that's stupid. I may edit. But stream of conscience is my shtick. I digress.

People don't commit suicide in movies. Not successfully anyways. Maybe its a bad story ending. Maybe no one wants to see someone survive for 100 minutes to just swallow a bunch of pills. I don't know. What do I know anyways?

1 comment:

  1. I've never seen Rachel Getting Married but I heard it was uber depressing.

    I once saw a movie where a character killed themselves. I can't remember which movie now though.. hmm..

    Life kind of sucks sometimes. I hope the drugs make it better. :)


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