I think of the day of my first panic attack as the day that I was born. I was between 4 and 6 years old. I have no idea what the date or even the season was, but I remember the panic attack. I feel like that was the day that changed everything. The day panic seized control of my life.
I was lying in bed. I believe that I had just woken up. I was staring at my wallpaper. It was some kind of kid wallpaper that you would put in a nursery. Slowly I felt my head getting smaller while my extremities grew enormously. They were going to get so big that I would not be able to lift them. In my mind's eye there was a hammer on the wallpaper. Bang. Bang. Bang. It was banging, rhythmically, in my head. I had no idea what was going on. I would not find out what went on until well into college. I believe I laid there for quite sometime before it subsided enough to get up. I tried telling my parents but I did not have the words to express how I felt.
It was so scary, not unlike the panic attacks I have now.