1. The illness I live with is: Severe depression, panic disorder, and agoraphobia
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2004, officially
3. But I had symptoms since: as long as I can remember. My earliest panic attack was somewhere between 4 and 6 years old.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Being aware that my intrusive thoughts are caused by depression and I can do something about them.
5. Most people assume: That I'm just a bit sad and should just get over it
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Caring enough to get up
7. My favorite medical TV show is: I don't really watch TV
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My phone - I love it
9. The hardest part about nights are: Getting to sleep and then staying asleep
10. Each day I take minimum 5 pills some days up to 8
11. Regarding alternative treatments: I've tried loads of things to get me to sleep and to stay asleep, but that is it
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible, if I really had to choose
13. Regarding working and career: It is difficult to work or just get to work, when you don't care about anything. Or on the flip side, I get panicky really quickly, so any stress could cause a panic attack
14. People would be surprised to know: How quickly I can go from normal to depressed as shit
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: It is not really new
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Connect with others with similar situations
17. The commercials about my illness: Usually depict depression as a black cloud. I wish it were just a black cloud. It trivializes it
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: again, I've really always had it
19. It was really hard to have to give up: See above
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Be at peace with the world
22. My illness has taught me: Not to judge others, who knows what they are thinking
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "I'm so depressed that I'll never see a new Harry Potter movie again." That is not depressed. That is sad.
24. But I love it when people: Ask how I am
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It will be okay.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How many other people have the same problems
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Watch Ryder for me
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I'm pretty much not. But I want to help spread awareness about depression and anxiety and let people know they are not alone
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Special. It is a long list and there are no chocolate or vanilla questions