Friday, December 30, 2011

If You Bring a Preschooler to the Rockettes

If you bring a preschooler to the Rockettes he will get bored waiting for the show. He will ask you for your phone so he can play Angry Birds. He will bore of Angry Birds and play Teeter. Teeter will be too hard for him so he will ask your boyfriend for help. Your boyfriend won't want to help, but he will.

The preschooler will decide that your lap is much nicer than his seat and sit on it. Then he will decide that your boyfriends lap is even better than both. He will look up at the show and want to dance. He will want to dance in the aisle because where you are sitting is too small of an area. You will not let him dance in the aisle because it is too far away. He will see Santa on stage and he will awe. He will hear Santa start talking about the Rockettes and turn his attention to something more exciting.

He will decide that he does not want his seat any more, but he wants yours. You will get up, move his booster and sit back down on the seat he has chosen for you. You will be trying to enjoy the show. He will decide that your lap is better than his seat and sit on it, again.

Near the end of the show, he will start crying that he wants to go home. You will try to calm him just for the last ten minutes, but it will not help. You get up and leave because he is inconsolable. You will enter the lobby and his crying will slow. By the time you get to the garage he is fit as a fiddle. He will buckle himself into the car and, odds are, when he gets bored, he will ask for your phone to play Angry Birds.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think there are two kinds of people and those who don't.

Yes or No?

Maybe is an unacceptable answer recently with Ryder. He wants a yes or a no. Everything is black and white.

You are either a Good Boy or a Bad Boy.

It is interesting the way children develop. This must be some sort of milestone or marker or something.

You are either a Girl or a Boy or a Boy who is about to turn into a Girl. I don't understand that last bit.

You are either a Baby or a Big Boy or a Boy who is about to turn into a Baby. I don't understand that last bit either.

Yes or No?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

This Year vs. Last

I have a problem with the holidays. This hasn't changed. Last year at this time I was writing about the same thing. I wrote about how my Christmas tree tried to kill me and how the ghost of marriages past kept haunting me.

This year, though, is a whole lot better. We are going to have Christmas morning at our house this year. We've always gone to my Mom's, but that always made me sad. The fact that I didn't have a big enough family to stay home for. This year I am happy with the size of our small family. And speaking of which, my wonderful Boyfriend will be joining us as well on Christmas. He actually makes me (dare I say it?) happy. And finally, we set up a great tree that hasn't tried to kill me once! We had a great time decorating it and I really feel like it is important this year. That's a big change from last year.