Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sometimes I Wish I Wasn't a Mom

Just a small pause, really. Just a small moment where I am not a mom. I just need a minute to breathe and a minute to myself. A minute where I can go somewhere, anywhere, I wanted without having to listen to the Muppet Show for the billionth time.

We went to a grey wolf preserve this past weekend. It was great - the wolves were so cool. It was a lecture type of presentation and the information was fascinating. I could not pay attention, though. I was playing a word find with Ryder to keep him quiet. Had he started yelling and upset the wolves, I would have been mortified. So embarrassed. So I kept him quiet. And he did stay quiet - for a full 30 minutes. I was proud of him, yet after that 30 minutes, we had to get up and leave. He could not stay still any longer and he did NOT want to be there anymore.

I am not angry at Ryder in the slightest and my Boyfriend is great with helping me, but I wasn't able to enjoy the presentation because I was busy being a mom. Even if my Boyfriend had taken him, I would not be able to concentrate knowing they were not enjoying the wolves. I just need to pretend I am not a mom, once in a while.

I love being a mom, most of the time. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I just need a little timeout. Everyone tells me to take some time for myself, but it is so hard. I never stop thinking about Ryder, no matter where we are, no matter what we are doing. Basically, I am always a mom and there is no getting around that fact.

But if I just had a small moment...

16 comments:

  1. I know where you're coming from. This is why I almost always have Pandora streaming into one ear, even with kids in present company. It keeps me from completely losing my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes I hate it too. More so as mine are growing up. I have a 17, 13 and 3 year old. It's so hard to go from talking about more adult things to putting milk in a sippy cup for the little one. Ugh!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We've all been there and even return to that once in a while. Just try to take as much time as you can doe yourself. Dropping in from VoiceBoks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think it's very hard to be a mom, and I think you summed up the problem perfectly. We are always mom's. They are always on our minds. It's a tough job. I love it, but there are times when you just need a minute! Great piece! It's nice to have a place to say that and know that there are other mom's who will know where you are coming from. Great to find you on voiceBoks! I'm now following!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would love 30 minutes just to myself. Especially with this amazing weather. YEs, we are always moms, but a little "me" time is always appreciated.
    Leigh @oneandoneequalstwintime.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perfectly normal. The good news is it gets better the older they get. By the time they're teens you wish they would need you just a little bit more. Being a Mom is the hardest job you'll ever love, it's true. I remember feeling exactly the way that you do and then feeling guilty for needing a break!

    I have learned that having a break is good for us and for the kids, we have to make it a point to replenish in order to be the best Mom's that we can be.

    Keep up the good work and breath :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can totally relate. Especially last week when those who weren't sick at home were grumpy :) It's hard always having to be "on the job" Hope you can find some time to yourself to catch that breather! Hugs!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. There is no one who cannot relate to this feeling; it's only a brave few who don't mind talking about it out loud. I think more should instead of treating these kinds of feelings like a dirty secret. Good for you...for now, rent "Little red Riding Hood" and project yourself into the role of the wolf, it'll make you feel better:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great post..I am the mama of 6 and I sometimes need a time out, we have all been there. But many dont say it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sure we all feel like this sometimes! Where even doing the groceries without the kids often feels like an enormous vacation:)
    Before I moved to Hawaii, I had an arrangement with a friend, where we each looked after the other's kids for a day so that we each got one day a week where we sort of felt we weren't a mum - just a nice quiet breathing (reading/exercising/napping:) space.
    I sometimes miss that:)
    Kristina

    ReplyDelete
  11. I so get you..it's so difficult being a mother. I'm sure that you are doing a great job just that you need some time out for ME Time w/o the kids

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have to admit that I feel that way too sometimes. And then I feel guilty afterwards. But I guess, it's normal, especially for us single moms who just feel so overwhelmed with having to take on motherhood alone.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gosh, I am glad I'm not the only one! Yesterday I reached a breaking point towards the end of the day. I was so glad to jump in the shower and enjoy those 10 silent minutes to myself. You are not alone darlin'!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi ladies,

    I'm new to your sight and I must say I love it!! When I had the blessing of becoming a mom for the 1st time, I too was a single woman wondering "What in the world do I do?" and all the stresses you ladies have discussed. I just want to encourage you and let you know that this too shall pass. I was a single mom for 10 years and yes it's tough. But the power of prayer and the peace that comes from that will get you through this season of your life. Now I am married and I have 2 more children and I still sometimes ask the same question. Just enjoy every moment because one day you'll look back and it will all be over and the moments that are stressing you the most will be the memories you treasure for a lifetime!!God bless you on this journey and May His peace keep you strong!

    upyourimage.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think every mom wishes for a few minutes to herself.....you're definitely not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  16. i needed these words today. my S.O. claims he has not once had the desire to not be a dad. but that's because he doesn't do nearly what i do for our little one. he thinks he does but he doesn't. i'm w/her all day w/ZERO support from family (grandma can't and won't even change a diaper). i've had one friend offer to babysit but never comes through. i cannot tell you how alone i feel most of the time. i've tried reaching out to other moms but it seems where i live, everyone has their own little circle and don't want any newcomers. anyway....so i opened my heart to the big jerk and he judges me. my response to him was sometimes i don't want to be your wife. that shut him up. men can be pigs sometimes. heartless pigs. i'm doing my best to raise our beautiful daughter. it would be WONDERFUL to have more ME time AND to have a safe place to know i can just express my frustrations - my truth - w/o judgement. i don't have that though and don't know what to do. so i do what i've always done - suck it up and go on and hope someday life will grant me w/the people and support and family and love i seek.

    ReplyDelete

Whatcha think?