Thursday, September 27, 2012

Sometimes I Feel Like A Lousy Person

I know I am not a bad mom, not a bad girlfriend, not a bad pet owner, but sometimes I have a hard time remembering that.

Take this morning, for instance. I did not want to get the boy up for school. Or ready. Or walk him to the bus stop. And I did not want to go out with the dog. I guess, now that I write them out, they are all reasonable things not to want to do, but this morning I felt lousy. Like I was letting them all down. Like I didn't want to honor any of my responsibilities.

Last night, I did not want to work out. At all. I just wanted to knit. That's all I've really been wanting to do lately, but there is never time. By the time there is time, I am too tired. And then I get depressed and then I feel even more tired.

Sometimes I feel like a lousy person. I just want to sit. And do nothing. And when I do that sometimes I feel better, but sometimes I feel worse. I feel lazy.

And now I feel like a lousy girlfriend because it is way easier to type "I feel" rather than say it.

Friday, September 21, 2012


So, good news: I didn't get depressed after my vacation was over! WOOT!

(I don't say WOOT.)

I took 2 weeks off where I did a whole lot of nothing. Didn't even find the energy to blog. But, then, I rarely do theseadays. I was supposed to go to Illinios to visit a friend, but that didn't work out. So, I stayed at home. Which actually works out because come to find out I need to buy a new car, so it is good that I saved the money.

Anyone want to buy a car that won't pass Mass emissions?


So, I am back to work. Back to the same shit, only I am a little more relaxed than before.

Ryder started kindergarten. I can't believe how big he is! He tells me that he is going to get so big that he will break his twin sized bed. That would be too much Ryder.

The buses are pretty stressful. The bus was full the first week or so, but they still put all the kids on. Thankfully they have a third (!) bus come and take the kids that wouldn't fit on the first two buses, which includes Ryder. Oh well, he gets his own seat.