Monday, April 30, 2012


I took a vacation from work last week. I didn't go anywhere and Ryder still went to daycare. The first few days were difficult. I was very depressed and cried a lot. Therapy helped a lot, per usual. Therapy Thursdays are probably the reason that Fridays are so good.

It all started with a simple trip to the grocery store. I HATE the grocery store. I shop every other week and buy enough for two weeks so I can minimize the times I have to go. This time was particularly bad. I was buying something that I do not usually buy and couldn't find it. I was freaking out. Seriously. When I left I swore I would never go back. I went back on Thursday, though.

This triggered my depression. I didn't want to do anything. I went to visit a couple of friends and was in a bad mood. I tried to enjoy myself, but it didn't quite work as planned. This upset me even more. I love these people and love their company. What was wrong with me?

This past weekend, though, was wonderful. I went out with my Boyfriend. We dined at The Great Escape which was delicious! I got a tattoo from The Purple Scorpion - my first. We went to a dinner party and then saw Wrath of the Titans in IMAX 3D. Very cool. By Sunday I was really missing Ryder, he had vacationed at my parents house for a few nights. We met at the Red Hook Brewery for a late lunch/early dinner.

All in all, I think it was a good vacation. At least it ended on a good note.

Oh, and thank you so much for voting for my blog! I ended up 16th on the Circle of Moms Top 25 Single Moms! Thanks!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Penny's Day

List 7 things your pet thought about today. 

We are going to do something a little less serious today! Here is what Penny thought about today.

  2. Boy, it is going to be great walking down the street without my leash on. It's a good thing my Lady doesn't come outside with me.
  3. Shit. Busted. She came outside.
  4. Wait - where are  you going? Why can't I come?
  5. It is AWESOME being home by myself!
  7. I love you so so so much. Even if you are ignoring me right now.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Bullies and Bullying

I participate in a twitter chat every Tuesday night at 9 pm. It is about mental health and social media (#mhsm). Every week they have an interesting topic such as getting enough sleep, caring for your loved ones with mental illness and bullying. This week was bullying.

When I read the first question: "Have you or your child been the target of bullies? Bullied others?" I thought that  I wouldn't have anything to relate to. I was thinking about high school and elementary school and I wasn't really bullied. Teased, sure, but not bullied. And neither has Ryder. So, I just read on.

Then people started discussing being bullied outside of school. For instance, apparently there is a lot of bullying in nursing. Then I started thinking about outside of school, which I had not before. My ex-husband was very verbally abusive. I asked "Do you think verbal abuse is bullying?" I got a bunch of affirmatives. @AspieSide said "yes I think verbal abuse is bullying. Words hurt and lower a person's self worth."  This blew my mind a little bit.

I never thought I could relate to being bullied when I lived years and years with a bully. He used to call me names, tell me I am worthless and lazy, make me feel like I deserved everything he did. He was, thankfully, never physically abusive, so I really did not think that I was being abused. Now I see that I was. It took years, but I can see that now.

Honestly, and we are being honest here, I sometimes wished he was physically abusive. Then I would have had a good reason to leave. I felt like the verbal abuse was not a good enough reason. Physical abuse is something tangible. Something that leaves marks and scars. Something that I can point to and say "That is wrong."

After this small revelation, staying involved in the chat was difficult. It made me very sad. I was sad for all the people being bullied, all the bullies, and me. Why can't we just treat everyone else with respect?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Life Well Lived: Getting Organized

How do you organize paperwork both online and off? Share your tip(s) to managing physical and digital clutter!

I get hard copies of everything - bills, receipts, etc. Then I neatly organize them. I have a wire basket for the most current things and things that need to be filed. In this basket one slot is for current bills, one is for bills I have already paid, one is for current receipts, one is for bank statements, etc. 

Once in a while, I take everything, except my current bills and file them in a filing cabinet. There are folders for everything. I try to keep things only as long as they are relevant (statements up to a year and so on) and then trash them, but I do not clean it out as often as I would like. This is probably more work than needs to be done since you can get copies of anything off of the internet, but with my history of applying for help all over the place, I have learned to keep the hard copies. It is easier to make copies that way. And I don't have a printer hooked up in the house.

I really do not get digital paperwork, but when I do, I make more little folders inside other little folders. I really love folders! I also love it when things are organized and easy to access.

Want to learn some great tips on getting your stuff organized or have some to share? Here is the main post. Come join in the conversation! And visit this post for a chance to win an iPod or an iTunes gift certificate. I already have!

Monday, April 9, 2012

It Is Nice Having a Man Around

My Boyfriend moved in with Ryder and I. And it has been going swimmily! It is great having him around all the time. Not only is he awesome, but he helps me open things, he washes dishes, he helps me with Ryder! Oh, and he helps me with rent - which really is awesome.

I love him. He is my best friend. It is great living with your best friend. I have someone to talk to most of the time, but because of work schedules, we still have some time for ourselves.

Ryder adores him. I think he is still trying to figure out that he really lives with us. He keeps telling me that he lives with us. My Bf is a good role model for Ryder - even though he didn't expect to be in such a role. Dating with a child is just so much different than dating without. Especially having the child full time. It is something I really didn't fully understand until now. But everyone around here is adjusting perfectly!

We both love him being around all the time. We both love him so much. I think the three of us will continue to be happy :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My Abandonment

Book review time! Some people STILL read books...share one of your more recent reads and tell us what you thought!

I still read actual physical books. I know. I am old school ;) I recently read My Abandonment by Peter Rock.

The book is about a young girl who lives with her father in a cave in a nature preserve. Everything is perfect until they are found out and the father is arrested. They end up moving to a farm where the father's slowly apparent mental illness worsens. I won't spoil the rest.

This book was wonderful. The narrator is the young girl and because of her age she is very unreliable. We only see things from her point of view, which is not necessarily the whole picture. Her voice is so strong, though, that you can really picture everything that is happening. The story becomes harder and harder to put down. I strongly recommend it.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sometimes I Wish I Wasn't a Mom

Just a small pause, really. Just a small moment where I am not a mom. I just need a minute to breathe and a minute to myself. A minute where I can go somewhere, anywhere, I wanted without having to listen to the Muppet Show for the billionth time.

We went to a grey wolf preserve this past weekend. It was great - the wolves were so cool. It was a lecture type of presentation and the information was fascinating. I could not pay attention, though. I was playing a word find with Ryder to keep him quiet. Had he started yelling and upset the wolves, I would have been mortified. So embarrassed. So I kept him quiet. And he did stay quiet - for a full 30 minutes. I was proud of him, yet after that 30 minutes, we had to get up and leave. He could not stay still any longer and he did NOT want to be there anymore.

I am not angry at Ryder in the slightest and my Boyfriend is great with helping me, but I wasn't able to enjoy the presentation because I was busy being a mom. Even if my Boyfriend had taken him, I would not be able to concentrate knowing they were not enjoying the wolves. I just need to pretend I am not a mom, once in a while.

I love being a mom, most of the time. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I just need a little timeout. Everyone tells me to take some time for myself, but it is so hard. I never stop thinking about Ryder, no matter where we are, no matter what we are doing. Basically, I am always a mom and there is no getting around that fact.

But if I just had a small moment...

Monday, April 2, 2012

Another Toy to Help You Relax

Do you like a high powered tingly toy? How about something small and inexpensive?

FingO mini massager - Finger massager

This small sex toy is made of silicone and is super easy to wash. You put your finger through the  strap on the left and it turns your finger into a high powered vibrator. You can take the blue tingly part off and just use the bullet inside.

I expected more out of this toy. I expected that the nubs would vibrate more than they do. It is also a little awkward when you put it on your finger because the strap is low. I think it would work better if the strap was a bit higher. I actually prefer to use the bullet without the blue cover. It is quite strong by itself. It is a fun product to use by yourself or with your partner. Though, I think it is way more fun with my partner. 

Eden Fantasys is a great company to buy sex toys from. Ordering is super easy and the packaging is discreet. Also on the package and on your bill is the name Web Merchants Inc. to increase your privacy.

I think this toy would be great for people who prefer smaller toys. It would be a great toy to start your collection because it is so inexpensive.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Disclosurer: I received this product free for the purpose of reviewing it. All the opinions are my own and not influenced in any way.