Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Mad Me

I used to get mad. Like really mad.

In college I lived with my ex and two other men. They were very very dirty. They never cleaned up after themselves or did any chores around the apartment. It was way more than the occasional pizza box. There was cigarette ashes on the carpet, piles of trash, food left everywhere and, most annoyingly, always a sink completely full of dishes.

Always empty
I brought the dishes to the apartment. They were mine. So after the millionth time of the boys not washing any of the dishes, I decided that they would be for me only. I packed everything away but one setting for myself. They were not happy. It worked, though, for the most part. The sink was never full and I got my point across.

I got very angry one day, though. We had a Brita pitcher that never had water in it. Ideally, when you finished the water you would fill the top of the pitcher and put it back in the fridge so someone else could drink some delicious, cold, clean water. This was too foreign a concept and every. single. time. I went to drink some delicious, cold, clean water the pitcher was empty. One day I had had enough and I threw the pitcher across the room and it broke. Actually it shattered. I would never reach in to an empty pitcher again.



Mama’s Losin’ It

Tell us about something you broke.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Back To School

I feel like I'm the one going back to school, I am so anxious about it. Ryder is thrilled. He's been counting down the days.

I got a letter in the mail yesterday about what he needs to bring to school. Couldn't they have sent this letter a couple of weeks ago? At least it didn't come with a summer reading list. So now I have to go buy some things, including shoes, this weekend. Labor day weekend. The stores are going to be packed. I'm panicking just thinking about it.

And the bus. I found out what his bus schedule was going to be. He was originally supposed to be at a bus stop that is not near our house or daycare. I have no idea why they did that. But I got it worked out so that I put him on the bus in the morning by my house, then daycare will pick him up in the afternoon. The bus is early early so we need to start getting up much earlier.

I don't know how daycare fees work during the school year. I know that it is half price because it is half day, but what about vacations? Or weeks like next week when he only has school two days?

Oh, and I'm taking him out of school for days 2, 3, and 4 to go on a trip to Illinois. Hopefully that is not much of a problem. Well, even if it is, I've already bought the tickets.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Be Happy

Sometimes happiness is just out of reach for me. Sometimes it is a totally foreign concept. I have a couple of different ways to try to combat this depression. Mostly I just lay in bed, but sometimes I try.

When I separated from my ex the first time, I was living in Colorado. I only had a couple of friends there, but they were dear. One of my friends made me a bunch of signs to put around my apartment. Signs saying things like "You are beautiful" and "You are a great friend" and other affirmations. They helped a lot.

I don't put loads of signs up any more, but I do have a couple of things that friends have given me. They remind me that I am not alone. That people love me. That I am good enough.

Recently, I made a board on pinterest called Be Happy. Whenever I see something that makes me happy or a saying that helps, I pin it on that board. Yesterday I was feeling really down so I went over there and looked at it. It really helped. It really made me feel better.