Tuesday, October 22, 2013


I still have all three rings: my engagement ring, wedding band, and his wedding band.

He got mad at one point and took his ring off, put it on top of the tv, then left the apartment. Thankyouverymuch! Sure, I'll take your ring. No problem.

I thought maybe someday Ryder would want the rings. Now I wonder why he would ever want them? Some symbols of a love that was thrown away? Why do I want them?

I should do something productive with them. See how much they are worth. Maybe get some cash, maybe some new jewelry. I don't know.

I think of them very infrequently. I think of him very infrequently. Sometimes I come upon something that I was saving just in case Ryder wanted it. Yeah, right. I just couldn't bring myself to dispose of it. That happens less and less nowadays. I come upon something, think what the fuck do I still have this for? Then I throw it away. It is better this way.

I need to go down into my basement and start throwing things away. And giving things away. Not just things from my failed marriage, but from when Ryder was a baby. Seriously, I do not need that stuff. Someone else can use it. There is a ton of stuff my ex-boyfriend left in my basement too. Something needs to be done with that stuff too. I told him I would keep it for him for a while, and I will, I just need to put it in a corner or something.

But the rings are still in my bedroom. Still safe and sound. Still in a kind of limbo. Now I am going to forget about them for another little while. Deal with it another day.

Mama’s Losin’ It
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