Thursday, October 9, 2014

Depression is an Illness

It is truly amazing what an effect medication has on my life and how much different it is without it. I was feeling terrible, so I started my Abilify up again and the sadness melted away. Now I am out of the meds and into the darkness. I am currently unemployed and my doctor doesn't take Mass Health, so here I am. I'm going to try to call him. I have to be able to work something out to get what I need.

Who knew though? A tiny blue pill could be the difference between not caring and caring. Between light and dark. If this doesn't convince me that it is a physical problem, not some psychosomatic thing, I don't know what can. I always wonder if it is all in my head. And I guess it is, but it is a physical problem in my brain.

I usually don't consider myself "sick." I consider myself "crazy." There is a world of difference there. I forget that depression is a legit illness, like the flu or cancer or something, and it can be fatal. The depression does that, though. Convinces me that it is my fault. I am broken in some way. How can I expect other people to treat depression as an illness if I do not even believe it myself?

It is hard and the depression makes everything in the world way harder than normal. I want to share this great post I read: 10 Ways to Show Love to Someone with Depression. I think this is a great article for significant others and caregivers, but I also think it is a great article for the person who is depressed as well. In a way, you are your own caregiver as well. In a way, I think it is actually harder for you to love yourself while depressed than it is for someone else to love you. They always love you. I know that I do not love me. I need to work on that. Bring myself outside. Encourage myself to care for myself. Challenge my own destructive thoughts. Remind myself why I should love myself.

This is so hard.

1 comment:

  1. Depression is a genuine condition.It's additionally,shockingly,a common one.The World Health Organization describes Depression as one of the most disabling disorders in the world,influencing approximately one in five women and one in ten men sooner or later in their lifetime.It is evaluated that 21% of women and 12% of men in the U.S will encounter an episode of Depression eventually in their lifetime.


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